i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
