your room smells of hookers.
And success
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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