I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
