they need to just BURY HIM!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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