girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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