We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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