is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
