I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
