I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
they're like a gay fantastic four
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm like, not good at living.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
