Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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