she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You were trust falling into bushes
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
