my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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