I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
