You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
