I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
