So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
