Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I cockslap morals
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
