She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
