Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
