I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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