Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
is wine microwaveable?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
