I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
