It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
