I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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