Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
