I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
