I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
