I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize