Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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