So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I need a beard to bite.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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