It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
