oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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