I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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