i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
