On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Send help, water and tortillas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
