i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
