I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
