He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
