so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
