I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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