i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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