We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
