I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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