if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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