my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
