elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
