ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
