I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
