I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
