i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
